Catherine

I was dumped, for the first time since Bobby, back when I was still in high school. It's strange how much it hurt for those first few hours and how relieved and ok I am with it now. The usual angry stage only lasted a few hours this afternoon and I think it was fueled by the people I was talking to. Are there things I would like him to know? Yes. But that will happen eventually and probably not in person, honestly, I don't want to talk to him again for a long time. I don't want to be his friend, I'm not going to do to his next girlfriend what his relationship with Caylee did to me. Period. It's funny how I can look back and see how this relationship was not so different from my previous ones. So far, nearly every guy I have dated has had the same general issues with me. They're all the same. Every fight becomes monotonous, every problem they have with me gets old. They're things that if I wanted to, I could change, and have changed temporarily for them. But, ultimately if I made these changes permanent I would have few other friends, would not be doing well in school, would care little for my family and would be an unreliable employee. I think with the relief and satisfaction I feel with this breakup it's teaching me that those are things I shouldn't compromise on. I feel strong. Someday I will find someone that admires my ambitions and priorites and someone who has enough of their own to keep up with me. If not, then I'll continue to take joy and pride in my life and the things I accomplish, as I always have.