Catherine

and he's the reason why. take it slow. breathe. enjoy it. let yourself fall. trust him.

i think i need a good kick in the ass like a break up more often. seriously, i've accomplished more in the last 48 hours than i have in the last 6 months on my list of things i need to do to improve my happiness and my life. patrick's overall lazy attitude about everything really brought me down to his level, it's like now i am finally back to who i used to be. people have already noticed a change for the better :) i like that. oh and he already has a new girlfriend...they had been "hanging out" before he broke up with me. so that was fun news, i was emotionally cheated on (and probably physically as well) the real kicker? she was his TA for speech class. how fucked up is that? my sister and lizzie have apparently already been picking on him/her via facebook. god i love it when people stick up for me, it's so satisfying. knowing that i'm not the only one in the world that was mad as hell. it's like i put up with the alcoholism (which almost always lead to verbal abuse) the put downs, him making me feel stupid, his ridiculous demands for my time, his overall indifference towards me/my feelings and his overwhelming concern about his ex-girlfriend long enough. i have been liberated. and it feels great.

I thought I would actually compile a list of things which I will now be looking out for in my next relationship. 1. Someone who is close with their family and can be close with mine. I had this with Burt, and after not having it with Patrick, it's something I really really have to have. 2. Someone who is secure. Brett was lacking in this category, it gets old having to reassure someone every 2 seconds that you do love them. 3. Someone who isn't an EF. I seem to really attract extroverted feeler primaries and being an extroverted feeler like 90% of the time myself, the two of us being one really really does not work. 4. Someone who isn't self-proclaimed to be "really into music" more specifically, someone who doesn't pretend to know how to play guitar or how music actually works. Brett and Patrick both did this. Brett with a bass and Patrick with a guitar, they each knew like one song that they had figured out on their own, each would pick up their guitar and play said song (rather poorly) and then hope that it was impressive. It's not. Either you play guitar or you don't. 5. Someone who doesn't drink in excess. 6. Someone who has a fairly clean slate when it comes to ex-girlfriends. They have to be in the middle, they have to be able to be civil toward their ex or not in communication with them (but not bitter/angry towards them) The whole "we're still best friends" thing sucks as does the "I'm super angry and do mean things to them still" thing. I need middle ground. 7. Someone who is content doing nothing as well as someone who is able to be flexible with plans. 8. Someone who has a busy life of their own. I've never really dated anyone who has as many commitments as me, I think it would be a nice change to have someone that is busy. I feel like they wouldn't guilt me away from spending time with others like most of my ex's have. 9. Someone as nerdy if not nerdier than me or someone that can be into my "nerdy quirks" 10. Someone who wants to move away from the midwest. I'm sure I have more...I need some sleep though. To Be Continued.