Catherine

I really don't like winter. I know, it's such a stereotypical thing for everyone to say around this time of year, but I really don't like it. I like snow when it's falling for the first time and I like it when it's around for a day or two, but, after that, I'm done. I really don't enjoy being cold. I don't like the way snow looks all dirty when it melts, I don't like how wet it gets outside I don't like any of it. I hate having to be inside and not being able to go out and go for a walk when i want. I miss sunshine and summer rain and heat and swimming.

The past week or two I've been thinking about motivation. It sort of started when I got strep throat and has been ongoing in my head. Where do I get the motivation to get up for class at 9:30 after only 4 hours of sleep? I mean, I think that I'm in the minority around here sometimes. Is it just the way my body is wired to need little rest or is it the drive to do well and succeed? I used to just think it was the way I was wired, because I've never been a highly motivated person when it comes to school. But, now I'm not so sure. I didn't go to communication studies class for a week and after that it sort of hit me. I hated myself when I did that, I would sit and agonize over whether or not I was going to go and when I finally would decide not to go I would sit and feel guilty.

So I'm working on that basically and it's sort of reverse psychology if you will. I think about how bad I feel if I sleep through class or just don't go and that motivates me to go. Even when I had strep throat. I only missed one day of classes because I couldn't stand sitting and watching TV all day. I hate sitting around all day I mean think about it. You're days on earth are limited, how many of them do I want to spend with imaginary characters becoming one with my futon?

As few as possible.

So all in all. Go to class kids and don't watch TV as much you'll feel better about yourself, I promise.

I had other great revelations to share, but, I of course have forgotten most of them. Ha. I have been listening to a lot of Say Anything lately. I think they're my new fave. You should check them out, Futile, A Walk through Hell, Admit It!!! and Wow, I can Get Sexual Too are my favorite songs. Check it, I hate posting long sections of lyrics, but Admit It!!! is sort of spoken and actually kind of funny. I don't read lyrics when people post them so I guess I shouldn't expect it of you, but, if you're bored enough, feel free.

Current iTunes Track:
Admit It!!! by Say Anything

ADMIT IT! Despite your pseudo-bohemian appearance and vaguely leftist doctrine of beliefs, you know nothing ABOUT art or sex that you couldn't read in any trendy new york underground fashion magazine...Proto-typical non-conformist. You are a vacuous soldier of the thrift store gastapo. You adhere to a set of standards and tastes that appear to be determined by an unseen panel of hipster judges-BULLSHIT-giving your thumbs up and thumbs down to incoming and outgoing trends and styles of music and art. Go analog baby, you're so post-modern. You're diving face forward into an antiquated past, it's disgusting! It's offensive! Don't stick your nose up at me! Yeah, what do you have to say for yourself?

You spend your time sitting in circles with your friends, pontificating to each other, forever competing for that one moment of self aggrandizing glory in which you hog the intellectual spotlight, holding dominion over the entire SHALLOW....POINTLESS...conversation. Oh we're not worthy.

When you walk by a group of quote-unquote normal people you chuckle to yourself, patting yourself on the back as you scoff. It's the same superority complex shared by the high school jocks who made your life a living hell, makes you a slave to the competitive capitalist dogma you spend every moment of your waking life BITCHING about! Yeah, what do you have to say for yourself? I'm proud of my life and the things that I have done, proud of myself and the loner I've become. You're free to whine. It will not get you far. I do just fine, my car and my guitar.

Well let me tell you this, I am shamelessly self-involved. I spend hours in front of the mirror making my hair elegantly disheveled. I worry about how this album will sell because I believe it will determine the amount of SEX I will have in the future. I self-medicate with drugs and alcohol to help treat my extreme social anxiety problem. You are a FAKER! You are a FRAUD! You're living a LIE! You don't impress me! You don't intimidate me! ADMIT IT! Why don't you bow down, get on the ground, walk this fucking plank! I'm proud of my life and the things that I have done, proud of myself and the loner i've become. You're free to whine. It will not get you far. I do just fine, my car and my guitar, and I am done with this. I wanna taste the breeze of every great city, my car and my guitar. You're urgently unfulfilled, when I'm dead I'll rest.