Catherine

I don't know if you can see what I'm pointing to, but it's evidence of possibly the dumbest bad habit ever. I pick my lip and my cuticles. It's so weird and the only other person I know that does it is my Mom. Maybe I picked it up from her.

Here's how it works, I take my finger and feel for a place that feels different on my lip, like a piece of dead skin you know? But, then I pick it off and continue picking basically until I can't stand the pain anymore or until it bleeds. It's the same with my cuticles, but, it's not just my cuticles it's the area all around my nail. It looks so gross. But it's a compulsion and it's weird. Yep. Don't know why I felt like talking about that, but, my lip was hurting and I remembered it.

What's your bad habit? (all 3 of you that read this)

I'm strange.

More strange things, I've been having a recurring very disturbing dream lately. You know how in dreams you always wake up right before you hit the ground or right before you die. Well, I've been having one where someone kills me by cutting my neck with a sword, but I don't die. I am just lying there, I can feel pain and I know that I'm bleeding, but I know that I'm dead. I wake up with tingling/pain in my neck and thigh where I get stabbed, almost like the dream is still hanging around me. It's awful and I've had it maybe 3 times now.

Want to know what else is strange? My friendship with my best friend of almost 4 years, the one mentioned in that previous really angry post, when we fight we know exactly what we're fighting about and what we hate about each other, because we each know the others worst qualities. You read hers, it's only fair you read mine. Keep in mind, this is not me all the time...but it is me quite a bit more than you probably think (I'm not even entirely sure who reads this, but that's ok with me.) I'm really judgemental, I tend to bottle up emotions when it's most important to share them, I'm really apathetic about a lot of things, when I get yelled at/mad I shut down, I hate arguing I think it's pointless when neither of those involved will change their view and I'm a HUGE hypocrite.

But, she's ok with that. We know that the other may change, but, that it will take time and that we'll never really be perfect and that those faults will basically be there forever. Yet, we still love each other.

It's like someone holding a huge mirror with all of your worst things reflected back at you and them just looking at you, ugly and deformed and just embracing you.

We love it.

Nighty night
Catherine

Current iTunes Track
I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie
In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my toungue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back